Wednesday, September 27, 2017

40 Thoughts I Had While Watching Doctor Foster

Although it gives me actual anxiety attacks and trust issues, Doctor Foster is my current favourite tv show. So, I thought I'd do a post of the thoughts I had while watching the latest episode, instead of spamming it on my Twitter account.

001. Ugh. If Kate was a flavour, she would be vanilla.
002. OH MY ACTUAL GOD. Gemma sent Kate Simon's tie. I cannot. I literally can't!!!! How will Kate bury her head in the sand this time?
003. Of course, she still manages it. Why am I even surprised at this point? Wake up girl! If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you.

004. OH MY GOD. When will they stop teasing us with this present that Gemma gave Kate in episode one??? Just OPEN IT. If your mans' ex gave you something, you'd open that quicker than you can devour a cheese board at Christmas... Let's not pretend it's any different.
005. Oh, good. Kate no longer trusts him and is doing that thing of having a cheeky little peruse through his phone. This will not end well, mark my words. It never does.

006. Ugh. I hate Simon SO MUCH. Hate, hate, hate. Loathe entirely.

007. Oh, good. Kate has turned into season one Gemma aka the craziest bitch around.

008. Anna aka the neighbour from across the road WHO IS ALWAYS OUTSIDE AND NEVER IN HER OWN HOUSE always spills the tea. I love it.

009. Okay. So Kate has now officially gone insane. The tables have turned, hun.

010. But the bitch is still delusional. Again, why am I surprised???

011. This is getting GOOD. Why does it only start getting good now the season is nearly over??? Very distressing.

012. Okay, so how do these women act so bloody calm when they know their husband has cheated??? Asking for a mate. They sit there at home patiently waiting for them to return. I'd be sharping the collection of knives I have in my knife block.

013. Simon needs someone to remind him that he ain't shit. I hope Kate kills him. It's all I want.
014. Or Gemma. Anyone will do.
015. Ugh. Men like that never change. I haaate them. This is giving me more trust issues than I already have, which I didn't know was even possible.
016. This show is enough to make me want to stay single forever. I'll live alone and have 15 cats. I'll sleep like a baby every night knowing I'm not being cheated on.
017. Simon makes me feel sick to my stomach. I want to actually vom.
018. I'm so bored of his lies and excuses and he's not even my boyfriend/husband. Why isn't Kate throwing all his stuff out on the lawn yet??
019. Simon will never be able to have a real relationship until he lets the Gemma situation go. He doesn't care about Kate or his daughter one bit and it shows.
020. He's definitely a sociopath. No question about it.

021. Tom deserves better.
022. Kate is way too calm, it's unnerving.
023. So is Simon. HOW IS HE EATING SPAGHETTI??? I've honestly never hated him more. Put the fork down, pal.
024. Oh my goddddd. Kate has come to Gemma's hotel to find her. I am shook.
025. Oh, god. Kate is still in bloody denial. Wake up babes and smell that HOT TEA  that has been brewing for far too long.
026. This is actually stressing me out, I cannot breathe. I need a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows pronto.

027. Why has this suddenly become Gone Girl 2.0?
028. This is giving me an anxiety attack. Send HELP.
029. Goodbye Simon babes, you're done.
030. Yeah, it's official. I will never trust anyone ever again.

031. If there is one thing I've learnt; karma is a bitch and revenge is so sweet.
032. Thank GOD. Kate is actually standing up for herself and her child.
033.YES. FINALLY. Simon has lost everything. Good. Great. Fab. Everything is finally right with the world again.
034. He's now all weak and alone. Like Voldemort after killing James and Lily.
035. Oh, god. Gemma. Get in that little blue car, drive far, far away and never look back.
036. Gemma is actually a good person deep down. I wouldn't be offering him a free hotel stay, I'd leave him in a bin, lock the lid and throw away the key. Boy, bye.
037. But seriously, she needs to stop this now and get in her car and go back to Tom. I don't trust Simon one bit. He's off the rails.
038. Oh, fuck. It's all kicked off. I knew it would. Why didn't she just get in her car. ffs.
039. FUCK, FUCK FUCK. She need to just kill him now. Run him over. Do it. Now. (I hope you read the last bit in Voldemort's voice because same)
040. DID SHE KILL HIM???? I bloody hope she did and he's being transferred to the mortuary as we speak.

Honestly, I'm not okay after watching this weeks episode. I need to lie down and eat all of the snacks to recover. I can't believe we have to wait a whole seven days to find out whether Scum-bag Simon is dead. Next weeks episode is the finale and may very well be the final Doctor Foster episode ever (sob, sob) but I cannot wait to see how they wrap everything up! If you haven't watched Doctor Foster, they have all the episodes on BBC iPlayer and the first season is also on Netflix. It's a very easy show to binge watch as there are only five episodes in each season. 

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