Saturday, September 01, 2018

A Fresh Start.

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So, hi! I'm back again, after a little break...

Lately, I've been thinking about how much I just absolutely loved blogging back in 2014. There were Twitter chats pretty much every night of the week, I had just bought my first proper camera and my own domain too! My little hobby was so new and fresh and exciting. That year, my Grandad died and soon after that, my long-term relationship ended too. I'll be honest, after all that, I was kind of on a downward spiral and I was so depressed. I don't think I really mentioned it too much online at first but I was pretty much dead inside. I had no energy, I could barely do anything. I would always try and try to get back into the blogging thing again because once upon a time, it saved me but it seemed almost impossible. My mind would constantly be blank, I had no creative juices flowing, ever. I would turn on my camera and when it instantly didn't look like a Pinterest image, I would turn the camera back off again and tell myself that I couldn't do anything.

This year, was the year that changed everything for me and I don't even know how it started to get better. It was just like, one day, something clicked and I was a different person. If you're currently struggling yourself, please know that one day, it will get better. Life is hard and super weird. You can be sad for 250 days and then all of sudden, everything feels a little bit lighter again. Healing isn't linear though and of course, I still have days where I don't feel great but I think I'm in such a better place now.

I've been really enjoying blogging again this year but there was always a small little niggle, in the back of my mind, like, I wasn't entirely happy with my blog anymore and I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was or why. The time came to renew my domain, I was going through the checkout and I just got one of those weird feelings that I shouldn't do it. I wasn't happy with "Belle Chaton" anymore and I didn't want to commit to another year, under that name. I first made this blog when I was sixteen, I've obviously changed a hell of a lot since then and it was about time my online space had a much needed refresh.

If I'm totally honest, I don't think I ever really loved the name "Belle Chaton" and sometimes, I get asked where the name actually came from and I'll tell ya the story now! In 2011, I fell in love with all of the big beauty vloggers and quickly became obsessed with those types of videos. I so badly wanted to make my own, but I was too anxious and I also remembered when everyone in my year at school, found out that the new girl made YouTube videos and so they bullied her and would play her videos, all of the time in the school hallways and looking back, that's pretty insane behaviour, just for a harmless video about a bloody BUTTERFLY. If you're a school pal, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! Kids are so mean for such pointless reasons.

Because of all that, I didn't feel like YouTube was an option and then I found the world of blogging and couldn't wait to start my own. As I didn't want anyone from school to find it, I couldn't just have my actual name. This was also 2011, the time period where everyone made sure that their blog names included some really bad French, translated via Google aka probably not correct AT ALL. If you can't beat them, join them and SO I DID! I also wanted to incorporate cats in my URL too, because let's face it - I will never love anyone more than my cat, obvs. My boyfriend at the time, suggested Belle Chaton and I went with it because I didn't think the name would be too important but I always low-key hated it.

I would always worry that people would find my blog and I thought it was simply the blogging aspect that I was embarrassed about, but I later realised that it wasn't that at all and it was mainly just down to the fact that I just hated the name. I remember when someone I knew in real life asked me "what's belle chaton?" MY LUNG COLLAPSED. 

My YouTube channel has always just been my name and it felt right that everything should be changed to match. I also got a lovely new theme from 
pipdig and I'm really starting to love my little blog again. Side note: if you're looking to buy a new theme, definitely go with pipdig!!!! Phil is SO lovely and helpful. The last time I purchased a theme, it was from Etsy and the girl was just so rude and unhelpful. I have NO CLUE what I'm doing when it comes to HTML, if I'm buying a theme from you, you should have no problem answering my questions, babe. pipdig have so much information readily available but if you do still have a problem, they always help answer all your questions and I think that is why the brand is so successful. Another thing I've noticed with companies that provide services for bloggers and other online creatives is that they treat you VERY differently, depending on your follower count, which is craaaazy! If someone is paying you for a service, you shouldn't give them a bad experience just because they're not promoting skinny teas on their Instagram stories...

I won't set a blogging schedule and say I will commit to posting tons and tons because I really don't want to force content anymore, but I definitely have my motivation back and have so many ideas for posts! I would like to post at least once a week but we shall see! If I go a while without a new post, I'm either busy with work, busy editing a YouTube video or I'm just a little bit sad and overthinking my entire life, y'know? 

If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading and I hope you like the lil makeover!
RIP Belle Chaton xoxo

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